I have a flat head. Oh, yes, it’s true. I can balance a book on my head and run a marathon. Except for the Run a marathon part…especially while my foot is in a boot. Actually, I’ve been feeling lately that my head looks more like a bracket for shelving covered in bushy, Hermoine Grainger type hair. Translation: I have a flatt-ish Occipital Bone.
What’s an Occipital Bone? It’s this part of your head. You know, the part that keeps it from looking like you have a shelf bracket head. It’s the part that holds on baseball caps, and cute little headbands. Cute little headbands that have been the bane of my adorable hair fashions since my tween years, and all because of ONE stupid bone in my head. Headbands just won’t stay on, neither will hats. Unless it ties under my chin, it’s just not going to stay on my head.
You can imagine my frustration when I am trying to work out and a sweat band won’t stay on. I SWEAT hard. It’s no joke. Seriously, I sweat worse than the sweatiest man you’ve ever seen. Have you ever seen those eCards online that say “I don’t sweat I glisten.”? Here is my version:
Picture this: I am trying to work out, my headband keeps popping off, my ponytail is flying everywhere, and I have vomiting pores doing their work. Sweat runs down my face, and I constantly have to pull up my shirt and wipe my face off. Then I freak out because my shirts are too short, and I risked exposing my bare belly to the public, which is not something I want to do and I spend the next 2 minutes trying to adjust my shirt back over the butt and gut combo, only to have to start all over and do it again.
My other option is to put my hair up in a Sumo knot, or a pineapple (as some weird people have started calling it). Why? Is it spiky? Does Spongebob Square pants live in it? I don’t know, but I am confused by the pineapple trend. Anyway, the sumo knot. Again, may I point out that I am not a thin woman? I’m not thin and I have a sumo knot in my hair. My gym membership has been revoked because apparently, when you’re a woman, it’s not ok to go to the gym in an adult diaper, rip your shirt off and tackle people. I’m just kidding. Maybe…
I tell you all of this to add humor to a topic that does truly annoy me when I work out, and to show you the solution.
Ponytail Headband by Fast Mile fixes this problem for me. It’s a snug fit on my head so it doesn’t slide off. I can fit my hair through it and set it in a ponytail, or put my hair into a bun, and the headband stays in place. It covers my ears when it’s cold outside, and I HATE my ears being cold.
It’s made of a light weight material that you can throw in the wash with your other gym clothes, and it allows your skin to breathe by wicking sweat away. (Because who wants to drown your skin in pore vomit?) On top of it all, one of the things I love the most about the headband is wearing it at night to bed. It allows your ponytail to be flatter than having an elastic in your hair, and you don’t have to have the sumo head to sleep with your hair out of your face. I have oily skin and have noticed the band absorbs the oil in my skin as well, so it doesn’t make my hair look oily as fast. Best of all, it has a 100% lifetime satisfaction guarantee! Yay! Someone who stands behind their product! All kidding aside, I really do enjoy this headband. It will become part of my normal gym outfit when I get back to rowing.
What annoys YOU the most about sweating? How did you fix it?